A while ago I said I would share some thoughts about things that I think I’ve learned in a half century of being around.  So here is one of them.

When I was first learning to drive, like many novice drivers I found it all a bit overwhelming.  You have to be aware of what is going on in front of you, to the sides of you, behind you, on the sidewalks and nearby driveways, and even inside the car.  At one point, driving along a residential street, I saw some kids playing with a ball in their yard.  I watched carefully to make sure the ball wasn’t going to roll into the street in front of the car — and in the process I nearly drove onto the sidewalk.  The instructor said, with remarkable composure, that it is important to be aware of what is going on around you, but you need to keep your focus on the road ahead of you.  In fact, most of the time you should be looking well down the road ahead.  If you focus on something else, he pointed out, your hands will instinctively turn the wheel in that direction.

This turns out to be a general principle in life.  Whatever you are focused on, you will tend to bring about, even if the thing you are focused on is something you don’t want.  In fact, probably the worst thing you can do is to be focused on whatever it is that scares you.  A classic example of this, which we’ve all seen both in movies and in life, is the person who is so afraid of being rejected and unloved, that they consistently behave in ways that annoy and upset the people close to them, bringing about the very rejection that they fear.  (And then of course, they use this outcome to justify their fear and reinforce the negative pattern.)

I’ve been particularly aware of this lately because I work with someone who is a striking example of this principle.  This person was once laid off from a job — twenty years ago, more or less.  That was understandably upsetting, but my coworker has made it her mission in life to be sure that it never happens again.  Each day at the office, her main objective is to be on the lookout for anything that might contribute to eventual termination.

This is more counter-productive than you might expect.  She does the minimum of work, since doing anything extra increases the risk of error.  When there is an error, her focus is on blame shifting rather than problem solving.  She treats her coworkers with suspicion and remains as detached as possible.  As a result, she is regarded as a rather difficult employee.  She doesn’t work well with others, she doesn’t take responsibility, she is resistant to learning new skills.  Of course, these are the very factors that increase the risk of being laid off, should there be a need to reduce staff.

Of course, if you focus on a positive goal, you tend to bring that about too.  For example, if my coworker would come to work each day with the objective of making themselves as valuable as possible, there would likely be a noticeable improvement.

The problem with this sort of principle is that people try to overextend it.  And there have been many overextensions of this idea, from the mostly harmless Norman Vincent Peale to the insidiously cruel versions of Christianity that insist all difficulties in life are a result of inadequate faith.

This is not a law of nature, like gravity.  It is possible to look in one direction while steering in another — for a while, anyway.  It is possible to focus on a positive goal and still not achieve it.  Positive thinking is not a guarantee that your dreams will all come true.  In fact, I know a number of people who have messed up their lives quite thoroughly by focusing on unreasonable dreams.  That can be as destructive as focusing on an expectation of failure and unhappiness.

It’s not an absolute law.  It is a principle, a tendency, a way of stacking the odds.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s God, or the Universe, or our own subconscious energy — or some combination of those.  The fact remains, though.  If there’s something you want to avoid, don’t stare at it.  Be aware of what’s going on around you — but keep your focus on the road ahead.