I know, I haven’t written much lately. And there’s nothing I hate more than going to someone’s blog to find that their new post is just “sorry I haven’t written much lately.”
Well, there are things I hate more than that. Child abuse, for example. And actually…calamari.
Anyway, I’ve started a bunch of posts and they keep coming out all rambly and pointless. Rather like my last post. I’m glad my last post was thought-provoking, but it isn’t a particularly well-structured bit of writing.
My main problem with that post is that I’m not sure I made clear why I thought “Change Your Life” is in some way related to the war museum, or war in general. And, it isn’t related, in any precise or logical way. Kris made the good point (she’s known me for years) that my taking and keeping that picture, and the fact that it evoked such a response in me, is not strictly logical, and it’s rather unlike me to follow an emotional, intuitive and non-logical course of action, even in such a small matter as a picture. (I know, she didn’t exactly say that, but she was thinking it. I’ve known her for years too.)
“Change Your Life” was outside the war museum, but I saw it and took the picture before I went in the museum. It struck me for some other reason. I’m not sure I can articulate the reason, or that the effort is all that useful. But I’ll try.
Tom made the point that it isn’t enough to change your life, you have to make the right changes. And that’s true, of course. I think it’s not really the problem, though. If you ask most people, and they answered honestly, what changes they need to make in their lives to be better people — most people could answer that question. This is the problem with psychotherapy. Most of the time, people know what they need to do to solve their problems and enrich their lives and make better contributions to the lives of those around them. We know. We just don’t want to do it. We want easy, painless, fun solutions to our problems. The real work of actually solving our problems is a drag. That’s why we stop living our lives, as Kris said, and retreat into our various overweight, alcoholic, TV-addicted corners.
So, yes, I think “Change Your Life” is the right message. You know what you need to do. So do I. And if everyone made the changes they know deep down they ought to make, well, maybe there would be fewer wars and fewer homeless people and better education.
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March 8, 2008 at 4:50 am
Kris
…hmmmm. This one quite got to me, only at your last sentence. I’m not exactly sure if you are saying “our” desisions can reduce “other’s” homelessness, or those decisions of the homeless can change their respective course. I’ve learned tons from hubby Mike, who has befriended ‘Robert Wolfie’ and ‘Bobby Campbell’, two outstanding persons who just happened to be (chose to be???) homeless, amongst many many more in his line of work. The subculture of the homeless runs deeper than those of us living comfortably in our mortgaged lives know. Mike (at that time a patrol police officer) was respected and appreciated by brilliant and talented folks who chose the culture and community of the streets over our stressed-out choices. Yes, maybe their decisions were made by alcoholism, or addictions to Vicadin, or others….But, in actuality, they start each day better than we, and were quick to point that out. They are “even” when they awake…how many of us can say that? They look for their daily needs only, and most often easily can cover those. They are sate at the end of the day, with no worries. We awake to every day with a $400 plus mortgage, perhaps some credit debt, and the stress of “needing” to go to some job to make all ends meet. Are we in a position to judge which course is more fulfilling? Less stressful? By the way, Robert Wolf (“Wolfie”) was a celebrated concert pianist…and he was happier on the streets than he was confronting the stresses of performing on demand. Seems what the mind needs for peace isn’t necessarily some formulaic life choice. Aside, I also realize that many (most) who are homeless have mental and health issues that prevent them from having a choice to ‘change’ their lives. Interesting topic….
March 8, 2008 at 4:52 am
Kris
$400K mortgage…
March 8, 2008 at 10:01 pm
celera
Interesting. While I think many homeless people would rather have some alternative, there’s no question that there are some out there who prefer it to whatever their options are. Of course, a concert pianist may have different options than a single uneducated parent.
But I wasn’t trying to make reference to homelessness in particular so much as saying that if everyone did what they knew they ought to do (leaving aside even the areas where we aren’t sure of the right thing to do), the world would be a very much better place. Maybe even for those who truly prefer not to be tied to a job and a house.